Sometimes

Sometimes
Looking back at the life I have lived thus far
I feel
As If I can do nothing right
As if each step is in the wrong direction
As if
Despite best intentions
And honest effort
All that I set out to accomplish
Is destined to erode
Before my eyes
For I leave in my wake
A trail littered in failure

But then I am reminded
That failure
Understood and applied
Is a lesson learned
Is an opportunity
To avoid such mistakes
When I am next presented
With a similar circumstance
And if there is anything I know for certain
It is that life is fraught with repetition
That challenges arise
With an almost preordained consistency
Always pushing us forward
Desperate, almost
For redemption
For what are we
But a product of cyclical iteration
A manifestation
Of “learned and applied it”
The sum of our predecessors’ failures and successes both
Destined as such
To continue the process
Accepting that the progression of time
Is a constant pioneering journey
Into a frontier unknown
Uncharted and deceptive in nature
Where the concept of direction
Bends and twists
With a destination undefined

So perhaps now
Even
Or especially
In days of trial and tribulation
Where I am made to feel as if I cannot give
Or be
Enough
That all must be laid bare
That fears must be faced and the ego displaced
Not for myself
That I might be elevated and made whole
But for all who have come before
As well as all who will come after
To demonstrate
To prove
That the spirit is still strong
Is still capable
And will overcome
Will seek
Resolve and reason
And in it find
Not absolution
But rather
Peace and purpose
Amidst and within
An existence that inherently fosters neither

26 thoughts on “Sometimes

      1. Exactly. I am getting there… And the people I surround myself with are helping me and learning just the same. It is so much easier when you actively feel supported and love, rather than making passive assumptions.

        Like

  1. damn! you stole my poem…of course yours actually manages to relay what i am feeling perfectly and with great poise. i am right there beside you–trying to read the map of my life so far so i stop going in circles…i think i’m holding it upside down (oh wait–maybe there’s my poem!)

    Liked by 1 person

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