I Will / Never / Forget

I will…

Never / be the same person who used to rise at 5:30am every morning / ready within 15 minutes / on my bicycle in –15 degree weather / no gloves and a smile on my face / sun shining down /

Greet each morning / embrace the new day / maybe on a bicycle but probably not / not just because mine were stolen as I like to tell others and especially myself / probably in my passion purple Honda CRZ with contrasting 3M reflective material on the accents because it reminds me of you and I have made it mine like I do all things I touch / even when I do not necessarily mean or even want to /

Never / view the world through the same innocent eyes / waiting with naivety for / pure and selfless love to / sweep me off my feet / wash me down the drain with / last night’s love and / a patient embrace / kiss to send me into / the new day /

Fall in love a thousand times until / break and have my heart broken even more times than that until / love you with the fire of a thousand suns just with the look in my eyes until / you know you are special and you deserve it more than anything but my love is not the only thing you deserve / you deserve the world and more / just as you are and as you will be tomorrow / as you will be the next day / as you will be the day you breathe your last breath /

Never / be the brother or son that I used to be / chickens in the tricycle and skinned knees / pure adoration and a selfless love that leaves the love of the flesh sickly and pale in comparison / broken hearts and substance abuse / patience and compassion and visits to medical rooms / shame never a factor /

Keep my brother and sister who live so far away in my heart always / visit my mother often even (especially) when I am very busy / send messages on the good days and the bad days and the days where I am too tired but know I should / never, ever forget where we came from and what we mean to each other /

Never / completely forgive others / myself / the world / for what has happened / continues to happen / will always happen / how absolutely powerless I feel sometimes to make change /

Continue my path towards understanding / loving / others / as I do / myself / as I do / others / how words like powerless melt / lose the “less” and are filled / when the lines between / others / I / melt the same /

Never / be a savant with the keyboard or guitar / have a voice like all of my heroes / dance like I do in my dreams / understand exactly how these people gather the followings that they do /

Always try a new instrument even though I do not understand music / sing like I have the voice for it at karaoke when my schedule allows / dance like I can dance like I do in my dreams / continue to treat all with kindness and respect / gather an invisible army that may never be together in the same place or know they exist as one but they will know they matter dammit and so might I someday /

 

I will

…never…

Forget

The smell of the morning air / the sensation of cool breeze on exposed skin / the value of a morning well-spent /

That the only failures in life are those we fail to learn from / that I have yet to meet a “bad” person just many people who make very poor choices / that we are all trying our best / that love can sometimes come from the most unexpected places / when our hearts are open and we are kind and true /

Those who have helped me to arrive where I am / any of / all of / you / the sacrifices that have been made / the privilege I have enjoyed and continue to enjoy / the power of  / awareness and integrity /

I am not the only one to doubt themselves / far from / why the 27 club exists / thank God I didn’t join / how badly I wanted to /

That we are all powerful and capable of ANYTHING (the good and the bad) / worthy of love and respect / valuable beyond compare / even (especially) when others say and treat us otherwise /

Who I was and where I came from

Who I am and where I am now

Who I am capable of becoming and where I am headed

All of the people and experiences that make my journey possible