Originally published April 15, 2018, this piece spoke to my perceived worth and social/emotional isolation, a result of many years of repression of trauma and self, and then way it affected and was affected by my relationships with others.
It is very meaningful to me to look back at how far I have come from this point and how much I have learned along the way. It has been a journey.
The original piece is below for reference, and can be found in its entirety at https://objectsanddistance.com/2018/04/15/assumed-unwanted/
I am always in a state of
Perceived rejection
Assumed alone
Assumed unwanted
Assuming
Welcome:
Overstayed
I walk with
Head down
Watching the earth
Move
Unfettered by
My feet upon its gracious surface
There is
Nowhere I belong
More so than
Where I do not
A consequence of
Years spent
Telling myself
In voiceless whispers
That I will never be
Enough
But
Even miles apart
You
Make me feel
Like I am someone
Like there are no
Assumptions
Expectations
I belong
With
To
You
Objects, and the Distance Between Them 
I understand those feelings so well… really resonated..
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Oh, my dear friend… It is a dark place and one I still find myself in from time to time. It just becomes natural, this feeling is self-doubt and anxiety… I hope you know how very much I appreciate you and how wanted you are. I am so grateful for you and all the history we have. Through the years of my ups and downs, you have remained, and I could never forget. 💙
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Aww thanks im listening to a lot if self love stuff lately. I think both our heads lie to us to be honest. It’s so lovely of you to say that. I value you heaps too…
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Were you bullied or did you suffer rejection as a youngster? It is just something I was thinking about on my walk this afternoon. I am sure there must be a reason we have these feelings but maybe we bring them in as a soul for some reason.
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