I will not lie, I was not excited to revisit this piece 😅. Just the title is filled with a cringey sort of angst that does not leave me proud…
But, as always, I was pleasantly surprised at how I was able to hear in it a bit of forward-thinking optimism and a desire to improve my perspective, as well as how it showed me, in a very timely manner given today’s daily poem, how far I have truly come and how I really have overcome that constant desire for affirmation and affection, gained significant self-confidence, changed my views of gender and self-identity, and found contentment in whatever levels of intimacy that I am blessed with through those I meet.
The ending is still pretty downbeat though, and for that, I am a bit disappointed in 2018 me. 😊
The original piece is below for reference, and can be found in its entirety at https://objectsanddistance.com/2018/02/18/the-cute-girl-left/
“The cute girl left.”
Now there’s a statement to summarize my life if there ever was one.
When will I learn
That she always will?
Why am I unable
To simply appreciate her
For who she is while she is there,
Then let her go?
Why do I want so badly
For her to stay
To come over and talk to me,
To laugh and flirt,
To play with a curl of hair
Resting so gently against her velvet cheek
As her large eyes dive deep into mine?
If I depart before she has finished
Am I ever “the cute guy who left?”
Does my absence ever bring disappointment
Or am I just grasping
Clinging foolishly to the childish notion
That someone wants me to be around
For longer than I am?