On Past Failures and Future Horizons

First attempt
Fourteen
Future uncertain
Past unkind
Why go on
When there is nothing here
To call my own

Second attempt
Seventeen
Failure to recover
From past sins
An unforgiving self
Critical to the end
Wishing only for
Peace of mind

Third attempt
Twenty-eight
Seated before
Photos of
Loved and lost
Dark basement
Rope taut
Journey music on repeat
May they find me as I feel
Cold and alone
Only the written word
To carry my name

Fourth attempt
Days later
No room to breathe
No space
No call my own
Ruin strewn with
Best intentions
Out cold
Hours on end
Wake to
Pounding confusion
Tears fall
Failure clear

And now
A new attempt
To live
For new horizons
With intent
With purpose
To love without restraint
To give without expectations
To wake and seek
A day without
Empty voices

To take
What was never owned
A crime
Or a call for
Help
Still uncertain
But what I know
Love conquers
Hope prevails
As the present unfolds from
An unclean past
To guide into
A future full
Of dreams and
Opportunity

Do not judge
What you do not understand
Lest you feed
Despair
Instead
Seek common ground
Above all
Love
And know
That you are loved thusly;
Life is short
Often times
More so than it needs be

30 thoughts on “On Past Failures and Future Horizons

  1. My darling, these words hurt my heart, but it does not break it–as always you end with hope. You are my hope on days I feel all hope is lost. You call them failures here, and sure by definition they are, but I have never been more grateful for someone’s failure.
    You light up the lives of all around you–on your team at work, in your family, among your friends, within this community, and mine. The world of so many would be darker, lonelier, and more difficult without you around. I love you and I’m so glad you exist.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Thank you, my love… Your words mean more than mine can ever hope to express. You should know that yours is the brightest of the lights on the coming horizon, that you are a guiding star in my new journey. I love you more than I will ever understand, and appreciate you just the same.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Speechless.. Especially how beautiful you said about the attempts, failures, your desire, your lost, and finally life.. What u understand.. What to take and what to leave.. πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was hesitant to post this, as I always am with pieces that reflect the darkness, though I am glad I was also able to incorporate the light. Thank you for reading and sincerely commenting with your thoughts.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Thank you for sharing this moving and agonizing piece! So happy the horizon is happier! Loved your line – “Do not judge, What you do not understand” It is sad that “IF WE CARED ENOUGH . . .” we could save more souls!! Bravo, My Friend, Bravo!!!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I am just glad to be able to articulate my thoughts from a place of positivity, that someone might read these words and understand that they do not need to be alone, to feel like they have nothing ahead of them… Thank you for always being such a wonderful supporter of mine and others’ work – you truly are a gift to the world.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I truly appreciate your speaking up on this issue! If my brother had been able to read this and other pieces I might not have lost him 42 years ago! I just hope your words will do that for others! I am cheering you on, My Friend!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I am sorry to hear about your brother. That is a tragic loss… I agree that people need to speak up on these issues to raise awareness and remind others that they are not alone and that there is hope. I will keep speaking…

        Liked by 2 people

  4. Very open, very raw and very honest. This is an eloquently articulated piece which truly reflects the isolation which fuels the desperation of such moments. As long as we can find some sliver of hope to cling on to who knows what doors might swing open.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I always believe the true heroes in this life are the one’s who’s stories we rarely hear. I am so glad you wrote this and I am going to reblog it as it needs a wide audience (not that I can give it that, 😦 ) But my heart feels your heart and I am so glad you found the light to be able to go on again. ❀ ❀ ❀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. My sincere thanks for your comments, support, and for the reblog. I am so grateful… I am also extremely glad that I am where I am today. There is so much life left to live and love to give and receive. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I have no words to praise this ! how can I?
    Its such an honest and heart warming piece of writing ! By talking about the failures, you just have spoken to me about hope and the ability to move past the failures !
    I’m so grateful to you for sharing this ! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you very much; your support and comments are more than enough. I really appreciate you taking the time to not only read but to leave your thoughts on my writing. It is also very motivating and meaningful to me to know that my lessons can help to provide hope for others. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  7. And now
    A new attempt
    To live
    For new horizons
    With intent
    With purpose
    To love without restraint
    To give without expectations
    To wake and seek
    A day without
    Empty voices

    this is a mighty roar from a beautiful tender soul

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you… I am so grateful for your comment. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like a roar, moreso like a hushed personal mantra to keep me going. I also always glad when I am able to raise my voice and share the words with others…

      Liked by 1 person

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