Say I Love You

Note: This is intended as a spoken-word piece. If I ever get a recording together, I will share it here for appropriate context.

Say “I love you”…
Not to me, not to placate some deep-seeded need within me to feed off of the crimson blood you bleed but to everyone else…
To every person in your life who matters, to every brother and sister, mother and father, friend and acquaintance, worker and colleague, ally and enemy alike.

And if you can’t do that, at the very least remind them that they are loved, with whatever words make sense… Because even if you can’t find it within yourself to love them someone does and I swear to God sometimes I try to turn my mind off because if I don’t I get to thinking and when I get to thinking I often can’t stop thinking; It takes everything I have to hold back a primal scream, a salty stream of tears straight from my mouth to your ears because I know full well that there are so many people out there who will never hear… those words… who will never truly understand how very loved they are and how infinitely priceless that makes them because love is something that cannot be contained, cannot be wrapped up nice in a disposable plastic sleeve and placed neatly on a well-lit display case in the mobile section of Target.

Love is a force that cannot be stopped, cannot be extinguished, cannot be beaten down and left crying in the basement with a photograph of every family member laying neatly on the coffee table in the shadow of a swaying slipknot.

Know also that actions often speak…
Louder…
Than words held back by a cautious tongue left limp and placid by years of fears that speaking things like that are only for fruitcakes and fucking queers as if expressing the value you place on another person someone implies you are worth less yourself… or is it a matter of pride and power – you love you and fuck everyone else… Your father never loved you and you turned out… well… No: you turned in… and folded up like an origami crane: all white on the outside, inside pain… an exquisite drawing signed with your name; you were so very proud until you displayed it and no-one came… No-one cared… and now its just there… Like all those hairs on the back of your arm standing straight on end, definitely scared and alive but you just pretend… like they can’t know that; just like they can’t see the ephemeral look in your hopeful eyes when you by chance catch the wayward glance of that best friend from way back when, man you were cool then but now he’s a she and fuck that you will NEVER be anything more than enemies…

But that’s not the way things need to be… should be… will be… can’t we just agree? There is NO DIFFERENCE between you and me, between I and we, between he they and she; this world’s one giant mouth and we’re all standing feet on teeth, so worried about what’s in front we never look beneath, we always talk but never speak, always inhale but never breathe, can’t find the water through the endless sea, forest and trees, the analogy you use doesn’t matter to me, so long as you see… That we’re all here and we deserve to be…

Now I have been told to walk the walk if I am going to talk the talk so here it goes: I love you. I love every last one of you, whether you like my style or think I’m high on my own supply. I love you so much I had to practice this piece a hundred times not because I wanted to memorize the lines but because I knew full well I just might cry and being a guy… well, you know what… I’ll save that topic for another time…

One thought on “Say I Love You

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