Together but Apart

Together, but apart
So close, but with such great distance betweenSometimes, I feel estranged
Inhuman
Like I was put here only to observe
Never to be
More than a spectator
A sentient camera
In a world of living, breathing humans

 

Embrace
Is a two-way action
I squeeze tightly
You stand idle
Arms at your sides

Reaching out into the darkness
I can feel hands moving
Searching
Occasionally
They close around mine
But quickly, they release
Never holding on

I have often wondered
What is wrong with me
I struggle with the words
I want so badly to say
When I finally speak
Your eyes betray your boredom
And you find someone with more relevance soon after

A conversation
Genuine connection between
You and I
And I smile
For the first time in a long time
But this is short lived
I am soon speaking only to myself
Your response obligatory
Echoes; nothing more

Now my home is filled
With voices
Recordings
They respond when I summon them
Always ready and willing
But lacking in real depth
When I ask them what it means to be alone
I am given a definition
Nothing more

I continue
To “put myself out there”
To pursue something more
“Intimacy”
A meaningful connection
Not a synonym for sex
Though I miss that too

At the end of the day
I want to know that
I am still…
You are still…
Not just a remnant
A flickering ember
With no-one left to warm