Not a Second Wasted

There are days when I feel
As if I am not worth
The effort
The Time
The energy

To lift my head is a task
For a fool
Who does not understand
The relative comfort of
A smooth, plastic countertop

And how I wish I had never pulled myself from beneath the covers
How the cold air burns my skin
And the pale light sinks to the back of my eyes like a heavy metal
Dragging my thoughts down with it
Into my throat
And into my spine
Where they reside
Inaccessible
But all too visible
Words on the tip of a sharpened sword
Buried to the hilt
In my chest

But neither do I desire
To return to those sheets
To bury myself beneath the waves of my own discord
I will not capsize
Despise the odds
Despite the storms that rage around me

I am learning to rise
Far above these tumultuous waters
To solidify
All the weight I have carried
And use that mass
To reflect back
To those who continue to struggle below

I am no fool
There are certainly times when
I remain separated from
The source of illumination
I will not change course
I will drift
Invisible
For the time being

All must fall
Just as all must rise
In the grand scheme
We are but moments
Passed and forgotten
Not a tear shed for a second wasted
But not a second wasted
That carries forward to the next